Oh, here we go.
Lots of sarcasm in this one, so be forewarned, and a lot of this is humor.
Most of this is frustration at how badly most games treat the bard. I love the class, but 90% of the bards out there flat-out suck.
The classic bard as an OSR class needs to be discussed. I have a few issues with them in modern games due to how terribly they are designed. In AD&D, the bard was the game's first "prestige class," something that needed more fleshing out. It is stuck in an appendix, making the entire class a "who cares?" sort of addition, like a thought piece in Dragon magazine.
The trouble begins in AD&D 2nd Edition when they are made a magic-using thief subclass with spell casting, NPC manipulation, and party buffs. They could replace thieves or wizards and be highly useful in roleplay situations. They began to get healing spells in 3rd edition when Wizards started changing the game for the worse. Casting them as a magic-using rogue sets up the horrible place we are today.
What are they?
AD&D did them wrong by making them a prestige 'jack of all trades' class when they really needed to be their own thing. They did a little of everything and have stayed the same since.
But then again, is bard just a profession elevated to a class for no good reason? I could make all the same arguments about the blacksmith and how that is a front-line dungeon class that buffs armor, repairs it in the middle of battle, and can fix a broken shield on the spot (for all those Pathfinder 2 players who constantly complain about the rules breaking their shields). We need the blacksmith class now! They are also roleplay experts for bare-chested male dwarven types! Taking them away ruins the game for me!
The chef too! We need a front-line foodie class! How am I supposed to play a fantasy game without someone in the front rank preparing the dishes and foods we love that give us combat bonuses during battles? The chef and their magic frypan, throwing pepper in enemies' noses, making them sneeze, and floating plates of delicious foods in front of our fighters to give them fortitude and combat bonuses! This is not a real fantasy game without our battle chefs! I won't play it!
I started something here, but I don't care. The game designers, divorced from reality, ruin their games with stupid ideas. It is part of the grift used to sell you new books with ideas that are 100% dumb, but now you feel you need them to have a 'complete' game. Stupid is contagious.
I won't play 5E again until I take a battle chef class!
Subclass a battle barista in there, too, while you are at it, because that Wizard's adventure was not brave and did not go far enough. I need a party barista for my dungeon adventures, giving me designer coffee blends every turn.
Where's the Kickstarter?
Just imagine all the AI art!
4E and then 5E compound the bard issue with specialized diplomacy (4E) and persuasion (5E) skills. Now, a CHR class is trained in this skill and is incentivized to min-max CHR - and have mental power-like spells. The concept and design are horribly lopsided toward "screwing with minds" and little else, with a few +1 party buffs tossed in there or strange inspiration gimmick mechanics.
Bards? Here, take all the roleplay! Hide spells in your music so nobody knows! By default, 4E and 5E hand the entire social pillar of the game to bards and give every other class the roleplaying bag of rocks.
Dungeon utility? What more do you want? We gave you all the role-playing! Be like a thief and have a half-caster class. There. Now, be quiet and waste most of the game session time in town while everyone at the table gets to watch. Everyone knows fighters and clerics can't role-play!
My massive issue with bards is they monopolize roleplay. Everyone should feel they are good at roleplay, and to give one class mechanical benefits to roleplay through specialized charisma skills few other classes may be proficient in is unfair. We end up with a character class that doesn't excel at healing, casting, thieving, or much else when in a dungeon - and steals all the roleplay like a dry sponge when in town.
It attracts a specific player who wants to constantly be in the limelight and the center of attention. Classic dungeon games are more about a team working together. A bard in a town setting is like the hacker in the Shadowrun game, waiting for the entire session to take over the game while everyone else waits for the town part and the particular class hijinks (bard or hacker) to be over. Most of the time, they aren't in the limelight and suck at everything.
Bards have never been done well. Some games pass them off as a Viking "skald" type class, but that doesn't fit most high fantasy games. What use are they in a dungeon? Music is noise, and in old-school games - noise is terrible. Even Shadowdark sidesteps the bard (though there is one on an expansion card), not wanting to offer a less-than-ideal choice for new players.
I like bards a lot, but how they are implemented is a mixture of half-classes, trash MMO mechanics, and appealing to roleplay divas. They excel in towns and take vital "dungeon time" away from the party with solo play as everyone waits, adopting the hacker class problem. They outshine everyone in a town adventure (except maybe the rogue).
I am still looking for an old-school bard that works well. The one in B/X Options looks weak, but when you read the description of the bardic songs, they basically get a charm person spell, sleep, protection from evil, or shield for all within earshot. And it lasts as long as the bard can play uninterrupted after 1 round.
You could hit 50-200 people with a charm person spell or sleep at level one.
You were all wonderful! Thank you, and good night! Good night, literally. I put all of you to sleep. The thief will be by shortly to collect the admission fee. If you have a problem with that, please ask the members of yesterday's performance who are still charmed.
In 5E, it is a video game; they just use party buff mechanics from MMOs and do not care about noise or old-school play. They invent this floating, magic, gotcha mechanic of bardic inspiration. It is just a reroll gimmick and has little to do with what bards do. Do you mean everyone hears the music, and only one is inspired? Or does one person somehow remember a song?
I can see why Dragonslayer did not include bards; the designer said he did not want them in the game. In a classic, old-school game, they would be a distraction to the classic style of dungeon crawling play that focuses more on mapping, sneaking, and avoiding fights in underground spaces where monsters lurk about. You don't go in "guns blazing" in these rules, just like you don't in Shadowdark - and avoiding fights and denying letting the referee roll for anything is the key to success.
We are trying to be quiet down here.
Would you stop playing that damn lute?
I can always mod them (B/X Options); it is my game, but I am keenly aware of the problems they bring to the table, and they open up single players to monopolize one part of the game, burning up time the group could be playing together, and sideline everyone until the silly part where only one player has fun is over.
If I really wanted to, I could give everyone a "profession pick" like leatherworker, blacksmith, miner, woodworker, and add bard to that list - and just give a flat +2 to any roll using the profession. There would not be a "magic" or "automatic charm" effect; it would just be for making dice rolls regarding that profession when determining a task outcome. So, any class could be "the bard, " which would not prevent others from roleplaying and feeling like they can contribute. Someone who knows their blacksmithing could convince a fellow smith of something far better than someone screaming and trying to play music over the constant hammering.
In some games focusing on dungeons, the bard should be a profession, not a class.
It is like trying to take "armorers" and force them into a dungeon party role by giving them the ability to buff armor in the short term and make instant repairs. Then they need defensive magic and get a half-caster class on top of all these odd abilities. Nobody asked, "Do they belong down here in the first place?"
What role do they serve in a dungeon?
But a part of the game is built around them now! You will break the party balance! Who is going to buff armor in a group? I would rub my eyes and tell them old-school games never needed someone wandering around the battlefield with armor patches, duct tape, and protection buffs. People who know nothing about medieval combat try to create a fantasy game, and they go straight for the video game mechanics.
A design that monopolizes social interactions and "makes them the best" sucks. While bards and their players may not be toxic, the game design of the class, as we know it today, is weak and can lead to one player hogging the limelight and an entire pillar of the game. Don't get me started on the disgusting bard memes that paint bards as sex workers. The less said about that, the better.
Everyone should feel like they can roleplay and have fun in town and social situations.
And we don't need to equate "music is magic" in every fantasy game. If it is, some cultures would start banning music because it would seen as witchcraft. Playing a song would instantly raise suspicion. The "hidden magic" of a piece of music becomes "obvious casting" and possible mental manipulation. Bards without "magic music" are likely more powerful than those with "obvious magic music" since they need to be craftier and more sneaky about what they are trying to do.
Once bards have magic music, everyone knows their game. Getting a lute out is like waving a magic wand around. Once someone starts singing, they are probably casting a spell. The world isn't stupid.
I don't have this problem in GURPS. Everyone can buy social skills to have a smooth-talking thief and a noble and suave fighter. They aren't, by default, given to one class as a skill monopoly with a class ability score as a double buff. Advantages and disadvantages - available to everyone - level the playing field.
Bards are better in GURPS since there are dozens of instruments and musical styles to specialize in, along with history and research skills. You could play a game with "adventuring Mozart," going around, dunging to find lost musical compositions, writing and selling music books, and playing in competitions from town to town.
Also, mentalist bard powers at low levels are quite often resisted. You need to work at these charm spells to make them worth anything, which takes time and precious character points. In the late game, you will be powerful, but you will need to earn it the hard way in a deadly set of rules.
Bards also have specialized musical spell lists in Dungeon Fantasy, where many effects are sound or charm-based. You aren't stealing other class's spells and can be a bard who blasts enemies through walls with the power of a rock guitar.
GURPS is so much better for bard and music-based games. You get the social skills and musical powers you want. Other characters can outshine you in roleplay in many ways. You need to be innovative and spend wisely to do well. You can dive into history and lost compositions. You can compete with other bards with differing musical skills and knowledge in contests. You could be a tribal musician with magic drums of power. A magical piano player. A lute-based sound mage. A magic flute playing piper. A dwarf with magic bagpipes. A dancer of any type or style.
Or a rapper, even.
Your magic can work off those art forms, and you can create special effects.
You don't suck, either. You are cool. Yes, you belong in a specific campaign, but if you want to play that - go right ahead.
I can also set up ground rules when my GURPS game starts, like, "This is going to be a dungeon game; we are doing mostly tactical hex-combat; there is little need for social skills." Or I can run an all-social game with light combat and let players know they will need to wheel-and-deal, charm, and socialize in many situations where getting the trust of factions is critical to survival.
The Wizards of the Coast bard (3E to 5.5E) can cause problems in a game. The monopolization of social skills and CHR to one class leads to "one person being the best role player" due to a game's built-in design bias. It leads to situations in towns where the rest of the party sits around, and one player does all the talking.
It can also lead to a focus in the game shifting away from dungeons and towards social roleplay. Very few B/X and classic class designs are designed to do city roleplay well - it is not that important, or are social interactions gamified. Putting one class in here that is the expert at all roleplaying can lead to a situation where 5 people designed for dungeon crawling are waiting for the one person best at socializing to finish up in town "for everyone."
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