One Million Magic Items

This is an excellent PDF to pick up for games like Dungeon Crawl Classics; since that game assumes magic items are supposed to be unique, and the game does not come with tables for anything other than swords, this PDF gives you a nice set of tables to generate Diablo-style items for DCC. Two notes:

This is for D&D 3.5 edition, so you must make a few adjustments to the items to work in DCC. These are trivial changes, and you can either swap ability scores, give a save bonus, or just make up a DCC-specific bonus if something does not work well. Some modifiers and damage resistances seem high (+10 competency bonus or +10 to skill checks), and the damage resistances of 10 to 30 points seem high, so you should halve those bonuses and resistances across the board, so YMMV.

I haven't played enough high-level DCC, so they may be okay. D&D 3.5 is close to DCC, but the modifiers are slightly lower across the board.

The number 42 in every table is omitted as an in-joke. Some reviewers pointed this out as a problem, but if I roll a 42, that means this is a DCC item, bonus, or ability that it modifies. So this in-joke gives me a DCC-specific result to give bonuses to luck or luck regeneration, spell burn, patron rolls, spell checks, dice chain results, or any other DCC-specific rule or numeric value. I can give a weapon a condition add or immunity. So, the 42 result on every chart is a highly-desired DIY DCC result, making the charts even better. A 42 on an item type? Roll on the level-zero character equipment chart and have a magic chicken that gives +1 STR and allows the holder to read and understand any language.

AI Art by @nightcafestudio

The Warrior's Chicken of Comprehension is born.

I like random items since they force players to determine how to use them and which character should benefit most. That chicken could go to a fighter., but the fumbles may be epic, with a missed axe swing cutting it in half. Or it could go to a more social character who doesn't need the STR but would use the language comprehension well. Or give it to a thief to listen in on enemies and then have the thing cluck at the wrong moment.

A final note: don't grow too attached to your magic items. In DCC, you should never get too attached to your gear; a magic weapon can fly out of your hand on a fumble and fly off a cliff, magic armor can be disintegrated by an acid attack, and a patron could flat-out ask for a great item as a repayment for a favor. A god could be appeased by sacrificing that great item, too, so they can be 'burned' for debt repayment.

A hungry troll could eat that chicken.

You will always find another piece of random junk later from these tables, so don't worry about it. I have had games where if you touched a magic item on a character, the player would quit the game. It felt like cutting off a character's limb to make 'all gear paid for' and was part of the reason we loved Paranoia so much.

It is all paid for.

Nothing the characters possess is sacred.

Everything is on the table.

And the replacements for all the junk you lose, burn for favor, and stupidly lose in fumbles are on these tables. Once everything is expendable in a tabletop game, the freedom you feel is like no other and worth experiencing.