Cage Match: D&D Next Dungeon Masters Guide

"You obviously can't expect to win this one, sit-on-your-throne Pathfinder referee! You can't even call yourself a dungeon master since that's our product identity!" The 5E Lich screams. "I am the image of power incarnate! I am the true image of what all fantasy game referees wish to be! It is I who they aspire to become, master of the game, and feared scion of doom for all players!"

"Casting raise dead on your game again?" The Pathfinder GM smirks.

CAGE MATCH: Dungeon Masters Guides begins!

Right of the bat, 5E comes on strong with a beautiful piece of art, great use of negative space, gorgeous color, and a strong composition. The only short falling here is the zombie - it should be better separated from the lich, either through fog or moving it away from the lich. Otherwise it blends in to the shape and it is hard to see. The spell too, should be more dramatic, it looks like raise dead with cigarette smoke. I like the horror tone to this, but I dislike the casting of the DM as a wicked entity. It places the DM in an adversarial position, when I feel it is more of a storyteller role. Of all the D&D Next pieces, I like this one the best, despite the issues mentioned.

Pathfinder's is a bit laid back, with our god-like being sitting on his throne and contemplating the universe. He has power, treasure, a dragon, some cool lamps, and great composition. He's not doing anything though, probably because he's subscribed to an adventure path and he doesn't have to do much work except wait for the next one to come in the mail. It is definitely a different tone with D&D Next it paints an adversarial active referee, while Pathfinder paints a storytelling scheming passive one working behind the scenes. Art-wise, these are both great and almost equal, though the Pathfinder one speaks to my diabolical and scheming ego as dungeon master a little more than the D&D Next cover.

Setting these two against each other, Pathfinder's blue dragon lays into the army of dead raised by the 5E Lich, forked lightning going everywhere. The blue dragon and the lich fight each other to a standstill, the lich raising as fast as the dragon can kill them. The Pathfinder GM could intervene, of course, but since he's painted as a casual observer, chooses not to, and watches to see how things develop.

"Correct." The Pathfinder GM observes. "A good GM doesn't need to lift a finger for players to fear him. They should know better. Besides, I'm the player's friend sometimes, so painting me as a mere monster is counterproductive."

"Well, I'm a monster!" The 4E Dragon DM shouts at the top of his lungs. "I'm a dragon, grr, grr, grr! I watch the heroes on my crystal ball and growl loudly!"

"Since all you do is run monsters for the players," The Pathfinder GM says, "I think that's an accurate portrayal of your role."

The 4E Red Dragon growls and joins in the fight, and it's still a draw with flame and lightning going everywhere, piles of burning undead filling the dank halls. The 5E Lich keeps raising them as fast as they go down.

"What's this, a fight with dragons?" Elminster laughs as he shows up with the damned most beautiful painting of a dragon and mage fight most have ever seen, with color and flame and magic going everywhere. The crew from 2E enter the fight, and all hell breaks loose.

"You're supposed to be a dungeon master!" The 5E Lich hisses. "What are you doing fighting one of your monsters?"

"He's Elminster!" The 4E Dragon snarls. "No dungeon master can deal with him! Seriously, they destroyed his setting several times and banned all high-level NPCs from the game because of him!"

"I have no problem with high level NPCs. I have iconics everywhere and a book full of them around here somewhere." The Pathfinder GM coolly observes. "Seriously, you guys have a problem with that?"

"I signify out of control player power!" Elminster laughs fighting with glee against everything on the board. "I humbly suggest you stop fighting each other and attempt to even deal with me!"

The giant AD&D Efreet Lord stumbles in, chainmail bikini Amazon in his hand. "Yo? Party going on here? Dude, I am so there. Ordering pizza now. Chill all, putting on some Van Halen on the stereo."

"They cut your left hand Amazon off the reissue cover? Seriously?" The Pathfinder GM notices. "I would have put her out there for fun, there's space to even. I mean, I know some great artists that do our covers that would be more than happy to paint her back on there."

"Thanks dude." The AD&D Efreet Lord smiles, smoke wafting in the air around him. "Don't know what I'd do without my babe."

Within moments, Elminster has Pathfinder's Blue Dragon, 5E's Lich, 4E's Red Dragon, and the 2E Fire Dragon all subdued.

"I have won again!" Elminster declares. "The battle is mine! The rest of you, surrender at your leisure."

"Save versus this, bitch." The AD&D Efreet Lord lays a smackdown on Elminster, and the achmage goes down on the mat unconscious, and the three count passes without a twitch. The bell rings and AD&D is declared the winner.

"How, how did you do that?" The 4E Red Dragon blinks, flabbergasted.

The Efreet smiles. "Dude, dungeon masters in my day were OG. We didn't need rules to do anything."